quinta-feira, 20 de novembro de 2008

The Craziest Halloween Ever!

USA, 31st October 2006

The craziest Halloween ever began when, in the entrance of a school in a town called Preach Creek High, a yellow leaf fell in a boy's head. His name was Edward, aka Edd (Double D).
The classes were over at noon, but Edd stayed, waiting for his classmate, other Edward, aka Eddy. They make part of a group, who the kids of their neighbourhood of the coul-de-sac call "The Eds". The other member is another Edward, aka Ed. Ed is the strongest and the most stupid member. He is usually with the head in other planet. Edd is the fastest, smartest, tallest and the most careful. And, finally, Eddy is the shortest but the leader and the most productive member of the group. He is always making scams to get some money. Suddenly, the gates of the of the school opened and Eddy got out, furiously:
- Stupid teachers! Who invented them, anyway! Who gives detections on Halloween?!
- Well, Eddy, you were distract in the class, and even with the Halloween at door, you should pay attention.
Eddy ignored what Edd said. The two starded going home, but first they went to Ed's house.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Ed was watching all his terror movies, like he does his Halloweens.
- Guys, this year we will trick-or-treat in the world of Halloween: Spookey Ville! - announced Eddy, showing a map. - My bro gave me this map, and said I only should use it in a Halloween when he went to study to Europe. It's this map wich will takes to the coolest Halloween ever!
At 20 o'clock they were all ready: Eddy was dressed like Elvis Presley, but like a zombie. Ed was a Viking, but instead of an axe, he used a spatula! And Edd was a germ of the Bubonic Plague.
The first clue to Soopky Ville was a baby crying. Nobody found that (especially with Edd always saying: "What a waste of time!"). Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Ed separated from the other two and found Jimmy, the best friend of his baby sister Sarah. Jimmy is the youngest and the most childish boy of the neighbourhood. He has a big brace and always brings with him a story book. He was dressed like an alien. But, suddenly he transformed himself into a real alien! Ed watched that creature, wich was waking to a house. So, Ed picked in a snatched stop sign and hit in the alien, with all his strength, without knowing than he really hit Jimmy.
Ed showed his friends , Jimmy who was trembling and crying:
- HOLLY MACCARONY!!! - screamed Edd.
- Hey, that's the first clue to Spooky Ville: a baby crying! - said Eddy - We're on the right track!
Edd tried to tranquilize Jimmy, but he acted as if they didn't exist. After that, they found the second clue: an old trashed car. But then a very not-welcome person riding a bike appeared: Kevin, Eddy's enemy. Kevin is always showing off with his bike (especially to Nazz, the prettiest girl of the cul-de-sac, wich every boy, except Jimmy and Rolf, has a crush on). Kevin always calls the Eds "Dorks".
Kevin picked in one egg, wich he brought with him and threw to Edd's face:
- One down, two dorks to go! - said Kevin, smiling and picking in another egg - Man, I love Halloween!
Ed looked at Kevin, but (like Jimmy) he became a zombie night without a head!
- Retreat, the horseman is too strong! - screamed Ed, picking in Edd an Eddy and running with Kevin after them.
The Eds run until the woods where behind. Ed looked at Kevin and screamed:
- Prepare for your demise, horseman of Liverpool! - full of courage, he threw himself to Kevin and before he woke up, he trashed his bike.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Edd and Eddy found the old trashed car. Then Johny, another kid of the cul-de-sac, showed up. Johny has brown skin and a very short hair (that's why Eddy calls him Baldy). He's a little annoying and loves Nature, that's why he likes to spend his time in the woods.
- Nice costumes, gyus. What's Edd's supose to be? A dog's biscuit? A ghost? a germ? My mother? - asked Johny.
- Yes, well. A good Halloween for you, Johny. By the way, did you see a bridge made of wood? - asked Edd, looking upset for the map.
- Yes! If you go for that path , you will. I think Rolf is find it... AAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!
Like a lion, Ed gave a punch in Johny's face and threw him to a tree until he lost his consciseness.
- Ed, I also think this guy is boring, but you didn't...
- What is happening to you, Ed?
- This monster-spider tried to kill you! You should be thank to me! To Spooky Ville! - answer Ed.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, after the bridge over a river, it was the time to Rolf to show up. Rolf is tall and he self-entitles as a "son of shepherd" because of his origins. Rolf has weird clebrations and costumes from his old country, Norway.
- Hail! Hail! Hail! Come, join Rolf in his festivity of Full Moon, Ed-Boys! Have some raw meat, Edd-Boy! - offered Rolf, glad to have somebody to share his ritual.
- No, thanks, Rolf. We need to find a snatched stop sign. Did you see one? - asked Eddy.
- Oh, well, Ed-Boys - answered Rolf, disappointed -, Rolf saw something like that when... AAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH! JESUS CHRIST, ROLF's EYE!
Ed had picked in his spatula and threw it to Rolf's left eye. Rolf walked completely blind and fell into the river. Edd walk to the river and screamed:
- Sorry, Rolf! Ed is a little weird today, but... - but before he finished the phrase, Ed Said:
- Let's go, before the mother's Cyclops shows up.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, the Eds found the last clue: the snatched stop sign. They where in a neighbourhood of Soopky Ville!
- It's Spooky Ville! I told you, guys! Is my brother the man, or what? - asked Eddy, completely excited.
Is this Spooky Ville? There's something strange here. - said Edd, looking around him.
- Come on, guys, it's trick-or-treating time! - said Ed.
- Let's go to that house! - said Eddy.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, when the Eds reached the house, Eddy knocked at the door but nobody opened.
- They must be pretendind they're not home. - said Eddy.
- Eddy, this is your house! - said Edd.
- What? I don't live here!
- No! This is really your house! I've gone in a complete circle. We are back to the cul-de-sac.
Eddy looked around him and looked at the house, saying:
- This really is the cul-de-sac. This really is my house!
- It looks your brother tricked you, than treat you, this Halloween, Eddy. - said Edd, observing the map.
- Is my brother a jerk, or what? - asked Eddy, furious.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, a group of angry and beaten up kids arrived and looked at the Eds:
- Who is going to pay my bike, dorks? - asked Kevin.
- Eds, you will be very sorry to be born for what you did to Jimmy, you bastards! - said Sarah, carying Jimmy with Nazz.
- I blinded Rolf in a eye!
- Guys! Those monsters have joined forces to smash us. I have no choice but surrender. - said Ed, throwing his spatula.
The kids looked at each other and said:
- I will take down the death rock star! - decided Kevin.
- The dog-biscuit Edd-Boy belongs to Rolf. - said Rolf, looking at Edd.
And this was the craziest Halloween ever: when the Eds thought they would have the best Halloween ever, they had the worst.

Francisco Fevereiro, nº 7

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